Автор: alex0rus

- Вы директор совхоза. И у вас опять неурожай. Какие объективные причины вы выдвинете в свое оправдание?
- Ну, плохие погодные условия...
- А что-нибудь посвежей?
- Ну...., забыли посадить...

У нас есть три времени года:
1) "Не надо открывать окна, и так жарко"
2) "Не надо открывать окна, и так холодно"
3) "Не надо открывать окна, и так нормально"

Профессор на экзамене нерадивому студенту:
- Если Вы мне зададите вопрос, на который я не смогу ответить, я поставлю Вам "отлично."
Студент:
- Профессор скажите, что такое "законно, но нелогично", "логично, но незаконно" и "незаконно и нелогично".
Профессор подумал-подумал, поставил в зачетку "отл", отдал студену и говорит:
- Не знаю. А что это?
Студент:
- Все очень просто, профессор. То, что у вас есть молодая жена, это конечно законно, но не логично. То что у этой жены есть молодой любовник это логично, но незаконно. А то, что Вы сейчас этому любовнику поставили "отлично", это и не законно, и не логично.

Что ж вы так убиваетесь, вы ж так не убъетесь..

- Гражданин Петров, я надеюсь, вас не очень утомил допрос?
- Да что вы! Я же женат уже двадцать лет!Приехали как-то пожарники больницу тушить. Все потушили , главный пожарник докладывает главному врачу:
-все потушили есть жертвы - 8 человек. Пятерых откачали, трое погибли.
Главврач раз и в обморок. Ну его подняли дали нашатыря. Он пришол в себя и говорит:
- Как пятерых откачали вы же МОРГ тушили!!!
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